Are You Too Sensitive? - 2

goodhousekeeping

(continued)
Look Who's Talking

Suppose a colleague implies that you're careless to let your 20-year-old daughter go on a road trip with her friends. Before you take the remark to heart, consider the source. How much does this person actually know about raising kids? How well does she know you or your daughter? Is she an over-parenter? "Then run the comment by someone who really knows what kind of a mother you are," says Aron. "Maybe your critic has a point, and you're reacting defensively because you agree with her. Or maybe she just doesn't have a clue."
Just This Once, Don't Call a Friend

Researchers from the University of Missouri at Columbia tracked children and adolescents who shared their hurt feelings with friends, and came to a startling conclusion: The girls who "co-ruminated" the most had more supportive friendships, but also greater levels of anxiety and depression. "Excessive focus on problems probably makes them seem even bigger and harder to resolve," says Amanda Rose, Ph.D., the lead author. "And it likely gets in the way of finding positive, healthy distractions," such as reading a good book or going for a walk.
Check Your Ego

Supersensitivity is sometimes the result of "it's all about me" syndrome. I confess, this is sometimes my issue. When my neighbor doesn't wave back, I automatically start a mental checklist: Did my dogs get loose recently? Have my kids been blasting music? My close pals rib me about this. "Get over yourself, Sarah," they'll say. "Everything can't be your fault." Maybe my neighbor is simply lost in thought.
Meditate, Don't Ruminate

Researchers from San Diego State University and the University of California at San Diego found that mindfulness meditation, which has been shown to treat stress, anxiety, and depression, is especially good at helping brooders stop replaying a hurtful remark over and over. I tried this strategy the other night after a heated spat with my 16-year-old. She had yelled, "You're so sensitive, Mom! It makes it hard to tell you things." Despite just writing an entire story on the subject, I shouted back, "That's not true at all!" Feeling hurt, I slunk into the bedroom, dusted off an old meditation CD, and listened to the soothing music and gentle bells. Sure enough, after 15 minutes, I had regained enough composure to snicker at myself. I went back to the living room, tossed a pillow at her, and said, smiling, "OK, maybe I am a little sensitive."
Sing Your Own Praises

Make a list of your strong suits. The more conscious you are of them, the less likely you'll be to crumble when criticized. "Sensitive people often make the mistake of taking an insult as a criticism of their entire personality instead of just one tiny aspect of it," says Aron. When I drove to my next carpool pickup, I road tested this technique. I thought to myself, I regret that I mixed up the dates last time — I wish I hadn't wasted that father's time. On the other hand, I'm pretty competent as a mother, wife, and wage earner. I compost. I vote. I floss. And I have to say, my Christmas decorations look pretty darn good this year. I felt better in seconds.

Choose Your Words Wisely

Keep these comebacks in your arsenal, for when you can't resist responding to a zinger.

"Excuse me?" Asking someone to repeat a thoughtless comment is a graceful way to make them think twice about what they just said — and may help you catch their meaning in case it's you who misunderstood.

"I wonder why you would say that." This toned-down version of "What the heck was that supposed to mean?" challenges the person to reflect on his motives.

"Can you elaborate on what you said?" Asking people to spell out their opinion can prevent miscommunication and clear the air.

"Ouch! That hurts my feelings." This lets someone know you've taken a comment personally, and lets her retract, amend, or apologize.

When you're tempted to beat yourself up for being too sensitive this season, remember that it's a strength, too. "When there are tensions that make everyone at the holiday party squirm," says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist and author of Why We Love, "often, it's the sensitive people who save the day by saying exactly the right thing."

Are You Too Sensitive? - 1

goodhousekeeping

WebMD Feature from "Good Housekeeping" Magazine

By Sarah Mahoney
Good Housekeeping Magazine Logo
No, we're not picking on you - just trying to make you feel better. Seven tips to help you roll with the punches this season.

There was a carpool mix-up: I thought it was my night to pick up the kids outside the gym; another parent thought it was his. "What happened?" he snarled, shaking his head. "Why are we both here right now?" As chauffeuring snafus go, this was small potatoes. It isn't like we left our boys standing in the snow. So why am I still smarting over his tone of voice — five days later?

I admit, I can take things too personally. It's even worse during the holidays when I'm in high-stress mode and every difficult-to-deal-with relative rolls into town. I spend far too much time anguishing over a friend's remark at a Christmas party, or fretting about what I should or shouldn't have said.

The hamster wheel in my head runs something like this: First, my feelings get hurt. (For example, I think, Why hasn't my sister called in two weeks?) Then I begin to imagine all the reasons she might be mad at me. (Was it something I said? Shoot — I forgot her anniversary and now she's upset.) Next, I get mad at her — and myself. (She always forgets my anniversary! Why am I worrying about this kind of nonsense?) After hours of circular thinking, I usually discover that nothing was wrong: My sister just got busy and didn't have time to call.

I consider myself a sane, logical person, yet I fall into this cycle again and again. What gives? I'm happy to report that genetics may be to blame — scientists report that sensitivity runs rampant in certain family trees. And I'm not alone: 15 to 20 percent of the population is thin-skinned. The upside is that we're highly in tune with people's feelings. We're the go-to gurus when friends are wrestling with a relationship problem or a sticky situation at work.

The downside: By reading too much into what others say or do, we can over-react to innocuous remarks. Some of us lash out, which just compounds the problem, while others (like me) say nothing but endlessly analyze. What's more, brooding, which shrinks officially label "ruminating," is linked to depression. While only a few of us get the "supersensitive" label, it doesn't mean the rest of the world isn't susceptible, too: "We're all more vulnerable in areas that touch on how we define ourselves," says Elaine Aron, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in San Francisco and author of The Highly Sensitive Person. So if your self-esteem is connected to your work performance, you'll likely be more upset if a colleague jokes about your presentation than if your mother-in-law mentions your dusty window blinds.

In evolutionary terms, being sensitive to criticism could be a lifesaver. "Back when we were hunter-gatherers, being excluded from the group was very dangerous," explains Aron. "You might've starved, or even gone insane from being ostracized. We are very social animals." Our sensitivity to the negative opinions of others is so strong, she says, that we record these emotional wounds in the same part of the brain as actual physical pain.

Despite this primal instinct, people may be growing less sensitive over time, says Jerome Kagan, Ph.D., a psychology professor whose lab at Harvard has studied traits like sensitivity for decades. "That's because so many more people live in cities today, which breeds anonymity and insensitivity to what others think. We have more rudeness in our society than people in the 18th century could've ever imagined."

I'll say. Today, Simon Cowell is considered a straight-shooting superstar for skewering performers on American Idol. Internet users and bloggers routinely lambaste other people's posts for all to read, and road ragers feel entitled to humiliate people for neglecting to signal a lane change. Hurting people's feelings has almost come to stand for honesty and authenticity. And you wonder why I'm so sensitive.

It turns out that my gender doesn't help matters, either. "In general, women are taught to think about other people's feelings much more than men are," says Paul Wink, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Wellesley College, who has researched gender and sensitivity (among other personality traits). "So while it's OK for men to be blunt, women are often expected to be warmer, more agreeable, and more invested in relationships. Because they're more tactful, they're also more likely to overreact to minor problems and remarks."

So will I ever be able to get through a week without thinking, Was it something I said? Yes, says Kagan. "Sensitivity to others' opinions of us is the most adjustable type of sensitivity," he explains. (The two other varieties — reaction to external stimuli, such as noise and light, and to internal sensations, such as heart rate — are far more fixed.) Next time your feelings get hurt, try these retrain-your-brain strategies.
Find the Nearest Exit

When a comment stings you, breathe deeply several times, and then figure out a way to excuse yourself from the conversation (even if that means you have to make something up). Aron says this works because it incorporates the two main principles of anger management: Focusing on your breath distracts you from the initial surge of temper that follows a barb, and leaving the situation gives you time to form an appropriate response. "Most of us make poor word choices when our pulse goes above 100," says Aron. She's a big believer in the 24-hour rule — waiting a full day before responding, if at all. "In some cases, especially at work, revealing that a remark makes you feel defensive can really hurt you, by making you seem insecure."

What Women Don't Know About Cancer

Survey Reveals Common Misconceptions About Cancer
By Salynn Boyles
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Oct. 26, 2007 -- Nearly two-thirds of women mistakenly believe having no family history of cancer means they have a low risk of developing the disease, and most do not know that oral contraceptive use is protective against ovarian and uterine cancer, a new survey shows.

Commissioned by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the poll results were released Friday to coincide with the launch of a new web-based guide designed to help women better understand their cancer risk.

ACOG past president Douglas W. Laube, MD, says the survey findings reveal a "worrisome gap in women's knowledge about cancer."

"This knowledge gap, as well as their fears about cancer, may be putting women at risk," he said at a Friday morning media briefing.

Among the highlights from the survey:

* Two out of three women did not know that the vast majority of cancers occur in women with no family history of the disease. Only about 5% to 10% of breast cancers are thought to be hereditary, according to the American Cancer Society.

"While we know that having a family history of cancer is a risk factor, the fact is that most cancers occur in people with no family history of this disease at all," Laube says. "So those without a family history cannot assume that they are not at risk."

* Only 11% of women knew that taking oral contraceptives is associated with a reduced risk of ovarian, uterine, and possibly colorectal cancer.

"Unfortunately the pill remains one of the best kept secrets in medicine," Laube says, adding that oral contraceptive use is still linked in many women's minds with an increased risk of breast cancer, even though many studies have found little or no association.

* Only about half of the women surveyed felt they were doing enough to reduce their cancer risk, and 10% said they had done nothing to reduce their risk in the past year.
* Almost one in three women (29%) reported that they did not see a health care provider on a regular basis and had not had a Pap test or mammogram during the previous year.
* About a third of women without regular medical care cited lack of health insurance or other economic barriers as the reason.

"The greatest potential to further reduce cancer deaths in women will come from efforts to improve screening and access to preventive health care, particularly for women without insurance," Laube says.

The online survey conducted by Harris Interactive included 1,664 adult women aged 18 and older and took place Oct. 1 through Oct. 3, 2007.




New Colorectal Cancer Guidelines

Also on Friday, ACOG released new guidelines identifying colonoscopy as the preferred screening method for colorectal cancer.

The group is the first major health care organization to do this.

Survey Reveals Common Misconceptions About Cancer
By Salynn Boyles
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Oct. 26, 2007 -- Nearly two-thirds of women mistakenly believe having no family history of cancer means they have a low risk of developing the disease, and most do not know that oral contraceptive use is protective against ovarian and uterine cancer, a new survey shows.

Commissioned by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the poll results were released Friday to coincide with the launch of a new web-based guide designed to help women better understand their cancer risk.

ACOG past president Douglas W. Laube, MD, says the survey findings reveal a "worrisome gap in women's knowledge about cancer."

"This knowledge gap, as well as their fears about cancer, may be putting women at risk," he said at a Friday morning media briefing.

Among the highlights from the survey:

* Two out of three women did not know that the vast majority of cancers occur in women with no family history of the disease. Only about 5% to 10% of breast cancers are thought to be hereditary, according to the American Cancer Society.

"While we know that having a family history of cancer is a risk factor, the fact is that most cancers occur in people with no family history of this disease at all," Laube says. "So those without a family history cannot assume that they are not at risk."

* Only 11% of women knew that taking oral contraceptives is associated with a reduced risk of ovarian, uterine, and possibly colorectal cancer.

"Unfortunately the pill remains one of the best kept secrets in medicine," Laube says, adding that oral contraceptive use is still linked in many women's minds with an increased risk of breast cancer, even though many studies have found little or no association.

* Only about half of the women surveyed felt they were doing enough to reduce their cancer risk, and 10% said they had done nothing to reduce their risk in the past year.
* Almost one in three women (29%) reported that they did not see a health care provider on a regular basis and had not had a Pap test or mammogram during the previous year.
* About a third of women without regular medical care cited lack of health insurance or other economic barriers as the reason.

"The greatest potential to further reduce cancer deaths in women will come from efforts to improve screening and access to preventive health care, particularly for women without insurance," Laube says.

The online survey conducted by Harris Interactive included 1,664 adult women aged 18 and older and took place Oct. 1 through Oct. 3, 2007.




New Colorectal Cancer Guidelines

Also on Friday, ACOG released new guidelines identifying colonoscopy as the preferred screening method for colorectal cancer.

The group is the first major health care organization to do this.

6 Serious Medical Symptoms

Some medical symptoms are warnings that you need immediate care. Learn to recognize these six.
By Jeanie L. Davis
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Like red-light warnings on the dashboard, the human body sends out a flare when something's awry. Chest pain, shortness of breath, dizziness -- those are some familiar medical symptoms.

But other problems can creep up on you, too -- aches and pains, lumps and bumps. When are they important, when are they not?

In his book, Your Body's Red Light Warning Signals, Neil Shulman, MD, provides a head-to-toe owner's manual for the human body. His book lists hundreds of medical symptoms that could mean life or death, or serious disability.

Shulman, a professor of internal medicine at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, has authored numerous medical books and scientific papers.

It's serious stuff, stuff he likens to "terrorists inside our bodies," he tells WebMD. The symptoms are "killing way too many people. There's tremendous suffering and horrible death which could be avoided, but people don't know that something's wrong."

In fact, it happens all the time, a symptom is missed -- and it leads to a tragic ending. Or it's caught just in time, and a life is saved. Quite literally, it's that dramatic, Shulman tells WebMD.

Here are "six flags" -- six medical symptoms -- you should keep in mind:

1. If you have unexplained weight loss and/or loss of appetite , you may have a serious underlying medical illness.

"If you're on a diet, you're expecting this to happen. But if you're eating the same way -- and now have to adjust your belt a few notches tighter -- you could have a serious problem," Shulman says.

"With ovarian cancer , the opposite is true," he says. "Fluid builds in the abdomen, and women think they are gaining weight. But if you have been at the same weight range for years, and doing nothing different, see a doctor."

2. Slurred speech, paralysis, weakness, tingling, burning pains, numbness, and confusion are signs of a stroke , and you should get to an appropriate emergency center immediately. Early treatment may prevent permanent damage to the brain or even save your life.

Slurred speech can often go unnoticed, says Shulman. However, you might have a blood clot in a blood vessel in the brain or bleeding of a blood vessel.

3. Black, tarry stools may indicate a hemorrhage from an ulcer of the stomach or the small intestine. It is important to stop the bleeding and to rule out cancer as a cause.

What you eat changes the color of stools. But black, tarry stools mean there may be bleeding higher in the digestive tract, says Shulman. It could be a sign of a bleeding ulcer or cancer.

4. A headache accompanied by a stiff neck and fever is an indicator of a serious infection called meningitis .

In fact, if you can't put your chin on your chest, that's a sign you may have bacterial meningitis, says Shulman. With bacterial meningitis, you need antibiotics immediately to kill the bacteria before it infects and scars the brain.

5. A sudden, agonizing headache, more severe than any you have felt before, could mean you are bleeding in the brain. Go to an emergency room immediately.

A brain aneurysm is rare, but it can happen -- even in people under 40. "It can be very disastrous if it's not treated," says Shulman. If you have a severe, crushing headache, you may have an aneurysm, which is a blood-filled pouch bulging out from a weak spot in the wall of a brain artery. If treated before it bursts, it could save your life.

6a. For women: Vaginal bleeding after menopause is a warning sign of possible cancer.

Some women are in denial when they discover postmenopausal bleeding. "Others think it's a little cut, or something in their urine," says Shulman. But bleeding after menopause is a symptom of uterine cancer , which is treatable if caught early.

6b. For men: A lump in your testicle with or without a small lump in the groin could be serious. Testicular cancer is more commonly found in testicles that did not naturally descend from the abdomen to the scrotum.

Guys, when you take a shower, check yourself, says Shulman. "That doesn't mean you have to do it every day, but once in awhile. It's so simple, simpler than washing your hair. It becomes an automatic thing, then it's easier to remember. If you know what 'normal' feels like, then you'll know when it feels abnormal."
'Squeaky Wheel' Works

It's an old, old saying: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. But it's vitally important in medicine, says Shulman. If you know something's not right with your body -- if you've got that severe, crushing headache, but doctors aren't taking it seriously -- stand up for yourself.

Tell doctors you know it could be a problem -- "I want you to rule this out," you should say. If they balk, here's your line: "I want you to write on the chart that you refused to do proper tests." Doctors are human; they get tired and distracted. It helps to get extreme, to get their attention, says Shulman.

"Sometimes you have to make a scene," he tells WebMD. "The one person most likely to be concerned about whether you live or not is you. You have the greatest empathy for yourself."

All adults -- from senior year of high school and up -- should be familiar with standard medical symptoms, to help them preserve their good health.

5 Ways to Cut Women's Heart Attacks

Heart-Healthy Lifestyle Can Slash Women's Heart Attack Risk by Up to 92%
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Oct. 22, 2007 -- New research shows that women could cut their heart attack risk by up to 92% by doing these five things:

* Eat lots of veggies, fruit, fish, whole grains, and legumes.
* Drink a moderate amount of alcohol.
* Practice girth control (keep your waist trimmer than your hips).
* Walk or bike for 40 minutes daily and get another hour of weekly exercise.
* Don't smoke.

That may be familiar advice. But the new study makes the payoff for a heart-healthy lifestyle crystal clear.


Mission Possible

"The five healthy diet and lifestyle factors are not impossible to follow," researcher Agneta Akesson, PhD, MPH, tells WebMD via email.

The study shows "how much YOU can -- based on your own motivation -- decrease your risk of [heart attack] by the different healthy lifestyle factors and in particular by the combined healthy diet and lifestyle," says Akesson.

"It is up to ourselves what we choose to follow," says Akesson, who works in the nutritional epidemiology division at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden.
Preventing Women's Heart Attacks

Akesson's team studied more than 24,000 postmenopausal women in Sweden.

In 1997, the women reported their diet, exercise, and other lifestyle habits. None had cancer, heart disease, or type 2 diabetes at the time.

Akesson and colleagues followed the women for six years, on average. During that time, 51 women died of a heart attack and 257 women survived a heart attack.

Heart attacks were 92% less likely in women who had all five heart-smart habits compared with women with none of those habits.

But not many women were in that group. Only 5% of the women claimed to have all five heart-healthy habits.

If all the women had been in that group, more than three-quarters of the heart attacks might have been prevented, the study shows.


Step by Step

Every heart-healthy habit helped prevent heart attacks in the women in Akesson's study.

For instance, women who ate healthfully and drank modestly were 57% less likely to have a heart attack than other women.

That's not as high as the 92% drop in heart attack risk for women who also didn't smoke, had a healthy waist-to-hip-ratio, and exercised regularly. But it's better than nothing.

The study appears in today's edition of the Archives of Internal Medicine.

How Exercise Helps the Heart

Another new study shows how exercise helps lower women's risk of heart problems.

Regular physical activity helps prevent heart attacks and other heart "events" in three ways:

* Through blood chemicals related to inflammation, blood vessel function, and clotting
* By improving blood pressure
* By improving cholesterol levels

Data for the study came from more than 27,000 healthy women aged 45 and older who were studied for nearly 11 years, on average.

During that time, 979 women had a heart "event" such as a heart attack, stroke, or coronary artery bypass.

Women who reported regular physical exercise were the least likely to have a heart "event" during the study, note the researchers.

They included Samia Mora, MD, MHS, of Harvard Medical School and Boston's Brigham and Women's Hospital. Their study appears online in the journal Circulation.
What About Men?

Akesson and Mora only studied women. But they expect that the general findings would also apply to men.

"I am convinced that men would benefit from a similar healthy diet and lifestyle as the women did in our study," Akesson tells WebMD.

More research is needed to see how closely the results match in men and women, Akesson adds.

Likewise, Mora tells WebMD via email that "there is no reason to believe that the findings would not also apply to men, but of course, further studies should be carried out in men."

"Data from previous studies have clearly shown that exercise and physical activity reduce cardiovascular events in both men and women (around 30% to 50% reduction in events with no substantial difference in gender)," Mora writes.

Escape from the Worry Trap - 2

(continued)
Soothe Your Soul

Focusing on the here and now can go a long way toward soothing the soul.

To get started, give yourself five minutes to absorb the details of your surroundings: the dishes on the table, the flow of light through the window.

"If I just sit here and look intently at the rose on my table for a couple of minutes, it really helps pull me into a different state," notes Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S., M.A., author of The Worry Control Handbook.

Fill Your Mind
When middle-of-the-night worries loom, challenge yourself to recite the alphabet in random order, without repeating any of the letters.

This task is just tricky enough so that there's no room in your consciousness to think about anything else.

Derailing the Worry Train
For some, an act as simple as snapping a rubber band worn around the wrist or taking a warm, soothing shower can derail the worry train.

"It's about using tactile stimuli to tweak yourself to another place. It's taking action instead of letting the worry act on you," says Dr. Hallowell.

Lighten Up
Many worriers are only at ease with certainty, an impossible proposition in life.

Lynn Simon's mother died of cancer when Simon was 11 years old. "Because of her death I worry all the time that I'll get sick, that I'll have to leave my two kids," she explains. Simon's worries are not unreasonable — but they are futile.

Reid Wilson, Ph.D., associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine, offers this advice: "Tell yourself that overcoming worry requires finding ways to tolerate uncertainty."

As any worrier knows, that's not easy — but it's a goal worth striving for.

Worry or Anger?
In some cases, worry is actually just a cover for anger that's simmering below the surface.

Consider that possibility next time you're brooding over a call from your mother or a child who's having trouble in school.

Actually, anger can be a productive emotion: "Unlike worry, it's outwardly focused and has some energy; it can at least motivate you to action," notes Emery. "You don't even have to express the anger. Just admit it to yourself, then take some action."
Relaxation Techniques

Short-circuit worry by taking a walk, petting your dog, reading a chapter in a juicy mystery or doing any other activity that you know will divert your attention and relax you.

Yoga, meditation, a music tape or a few minutes of deep breathing — which lowers the heart rate and, in turn, reduces anxiety — can also help.

Sing!
Sure, listening to soft, soothing music can lighten your worry load. But another approach, says Reid Wilson, Ph.D., associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine, is to sing away your woes.

Simply choose a familiar tune, then set your troubles to music. For example, instead of crooning the traditional words to "Mary Had a Little Lamb," imagine warbling, "My credit card bill is going to be late, going to be late, going to be late; my credit rating will be ruined, and I'll never get a mortgage."

Sing your own version of the worry song in your mind, or out loud, for a few minutes, until you feel less anxious.

It works because "the singing makes you feel ridiculous," says Wilson. "And it's very hard to maintain your distress when you're doing something foolish. You step back from the worry and put it in perspective."

Moving On
Done everything you can possibly do? Then make up your mind to move on. Imagine yourself placing your worries in a box and tossing that box in the trash — for good.

Escape from the Worry Trap - 1

WebMD Feature from "Good Housekeeping" Magazine

By Diane Umansky

Good Housekeeping Magazine Logo

When many of us are peacefully slumbering, Paula McClure, the owner of a spa in Dallas, is often jolted awake by what she refers to as her sleep committee.

"The committee meets in my head at 3 a.m., and we run down a list of problems: all the things I didn't get done that day, people I didn't call back, decisions I'm worried about," she says.

The dark-of-the-night fretting may follow McClure into the daytime hours, often making her feel emotionally paralyzed. "My stomach tightens, my mouth gets really dry and my brain starts spinning so fast I can't think straight," she says, describing the sensation.

Who hasn't found herself in a similar state? We all worry from time to time, about deadlines and expectations, about loved ones, finances, health and a host of other issues. Though both sexes brood, research suggests that women are society's designated worriers.

"My hunch is that boys are trained from a very early age to get up and do something to distract themselves from their problems," says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, whose studies show that the tendency to worry may start in girls as young as age eight.

"It's more acceptable for girls to worry and focus on their feelings," she notes. "They don't get as much encouragement and teaching about problem-solving strategies and how to pull themselves up by their bootstraps."
Worry Is Healthy

A certain amount of worry is necessary for survival; it helps us anticipate future hazards and prepare for them.

"Worry is like a smoke detector that nature has built into our brains," explains author and worry expert Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. "It serves to keep us out of danger."

For example, if it's 2 a.m. and your teenage daughter is not yet home from a date, a reasonable level of concern might well propel you out of bed to call her boyfriend, her friends, even the police.

But many of us worry far too often and far too easily; we are so sensitized to the possibility of danger that we "catastrophize," convincing ourselves that a twinge of indigestion is a sign of impending appendicitis, that a scolding from the boss signals the end of a career.

As psychologist Gary Emery, Ph.D., director of the Los Angeles Center for Cognitive Therapy, puts it, worry is often about "trying to solve something that's not solvable at the moment. It gives people the illusion that they're doing something. But as the old Italian proverb says, 'A cartload of worry won't pay an ounce of debt.'"

Not only can worry leave us spinning our wheels, it also can depress us, poison our relationships and sap us of energy and the joy of living as we wrestle with relentless "what ifs."

Carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders can also make us physically sick, with ailments such as back pain, digestive disorders, rashes and recurring headaches. Research from the University of Kentucky in Lexington suggests that frequent fretting may even weaken the immune system.

"Chronic, persistent worry is just as dangerous for your health as high blood pressure," says Dr. Hallowell. "It's bad for virtually every system of the body."

But the good news, he adds, is that worry is definitely controllable. Ready to tame it? Try these techniques from the experts.

Worry as Vigilance

Some people view worry as a form of vigilance, reasoning, for example, that if they dwell on the likelihood of their wallet being stolen during a vacation, the theft won't occur.

"Some people feel they can make a deal with fate," says Dr. Hallowell. "If they suffer enough, the worry will prevent the negative outcome. But if you don't tie worry to action, it doesn't do a thing except make you sick."

Sort your concerns into those you can influence and those you can't, and focus your energy on the former. Jot down a list of possible solutions, sift through them and work toward implementing the best options.

Abolish Your Anxiety
"Take a good guess at what the best course of action is, knowing all along that you might make a mistake," advises clinical psychologist Paul A. Hauck, Ph.D., author of Overcoming Worry and Fear.

"And consider, would it be really terrible if you made a mistake? In most cases the world won't end if you do."

Talk to Someone
"Get it out. Talk to a friend, talk to a colleague, talk to your dog," advises Dr. Hallowell. "This is the number one tool of worry control because it's so simple and so effective."

To avoid overloading others with your angst, ask a pal for 10 minutes of vent time, then offer your ear to her.

Concentrate!
Devote a set amount of time — say, 10 to 20 minutes a day — to your potential troubles.

Let your imagination run as wild as it can during this period. Afterward, if an upsetting thought arises, file it away for the next day's session.

Too difficult? Start by working to postpone worries for a few minutes at a time.

Imagine the Chances
Pondering how you'd feel and what you'd do if the worst did happen may help you see that the chances it will happen are slight and that you can handle lesser events.

Judy Bosniadis, a real estate agent in Chapel Hill, NC, uses this strategy to relieve her recurring anxiety that she'll be late for morning meetings in the office.

"The big worry is that the alarm clock won't go off, I'll be late for the meeting and everyone will be upset," she says. "I can really toss and turn over this. So what I do is take each fear and work through it until I've diluted it."

For example, Bosniadis tells herself that not only will the alarm most likely go off on schedule, but a late arrival at the meeting would cause little stir, and it's highly unlikely that she'd be disciplined for tardiness anyway.

"By the time I've gone through all the possibilities, I'm okay," she says.

HPV Beats Pap as Cervical Cancer Test

HPV Test 40% Better at Detecting Precancerous Cells
By Salynn Boyles
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

Oct. 17, 2007 – The Pap test is an annual ritual for millions of American women, but it may not be the best way to screen for cervical cancer.

In a head-to-head comparison study from Canada, DNA testing for human papillomavirus (HPV) was found to be far more accurate than traditional Pap smear testing for detecting precancerous lesions.

The HPV test was nearly 40% better at detecting these lesions than the Pap test.

HPV testing accurately detected precancerous lesions without generating false-negatives 94.6% of the time, compared with 55.4% of the time for the Pap test.

The DNA test did produce more false-positive results than Pap testing, but the difference was not as great as some previous studies suggest.

The findings are published in the Oct. 18 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine.

“It is clear that the HPV test picks up more precancers than the Pap test, and I personally think it is a better test,” researcher Marie-Helene Mayrand, MD, of McGill University, tells WebMD. “But you will certainly find doctors who feel differently because more [false-positive] women are sent for invasive diagnostic procedures they don’t need.”
Pap vs. HPV

The Pap test is used to screen for abnormal cellular changes that may lead to cervical cancer. Annual testing is recommended because the test often misses slow-growing precancerous lesions.

Because a lesion can take a decade or more to turn into cancer, annual Pap testing usually finds precancerous lesions in time.

The HPV test is considered a useful addition to Pap testing for women over 30 who may be at high risk for cervical cancer, but the Canadian study is the first North American trial to assess its value as a stand-alone test.

The McGill researchers followed 10,154 Canadian women between the ages of 30 and 69 who were enrolled in the study between 2002 and 2005.

Over the course of the trial, HPV testing accurately detected pre-cancerous lesions without generating false-negatives 94.6% of the time.
A Better HPV Test

Like Mayrand, study co-author Eduardo Franco, DrPH, says the superiority of the HPV test for identifying lesions without false-negatives argues in favor of its use as a standalone test

“A false-positive may be very disturbing and psychologically distressing for the patient, but in the end, she’s free of disease,” Franco notes in a news release. “False-negatives are very serious business, however. The patient will be assured that she is negative, all the while a pre-cancer has a chance to become a cancer or her existing cancer has a chance to grow.”

Mayrand says the next step is improving the HPV test’s specificity, or ability to detect pre-cancerous lesions without false-positives.

“We are working on strategies to increase the specificity of HPV testing,” she says. “This is not the last study on the subject. I think that within a few years we will find ways to make HPV testing more specific.”
Cervical Cancer Testing Important

Though experts disagree on the better test, the underlying message is clear: Get tested.

"The most important message remains unchanged: Women should be screened using one of three options: a conventional Pap test, liquid Pap, or Pap plus HPV test," says Debbie Saslow, PhD, director of breast and gynecologic cancer at the American Cancer Society. "For women who have access to HPV testing (e.g. insured women whose plan covers the test), the HPV test offers added benefits over [Pap tests] alone."

Breast Cancer Chemo Drug Ixempra OK'd

FDA Approves Ixempra for Advanced Breast Cancer Chemotherapy
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

Oct. 17, 2007 -- The FDA has approved a new breast cancer chemotherapy drug called Ixempra for the treatment of advanced breast cancer.

Bristol-Myers Squibb Co., which makes Ixempra, announced the drug's approval in a news release.

Ixempra will be available "within days," states Bristol-Myers Squibb.

The drug company says Ixempra was approved for patients with metastatic or locally advanced breast cancer whose tumors don't respond to other breast cancer chemotherapy drugs.

Ixempra may be used alone or in combination with the chemotherapy drug Xeloda.

According to Bristol-Myers Squibb, the FDA approved Ixempra based on two studies that included nearly 880 patients with advanced beast cancer.

The most common adverse events in those studies included pain, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.

Bristol-Myers Squibb recommends caution in using Ixempra in patients with a history of heart disease.

Bristol-Myers Squibb also notes that Ixempra shouldn't be used during pregnancy, and it shouldn't be used with Xeloda in patients with liver problems.

Herbal Relief for Menstrual Cramps?

Researchers Say Chinese Herbal Medicine May Ease Menstrual Cramps
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

Oct. 17, 2007 -- Chinese herbal medicine may trump other treatments for menstrual cramps.

That news, published online today in The Cochrane Library, comes with a caution that the results need to be checked.

A team of scientists reviewed 39 studies on dysmenorrhea (painful periods) that included menstrual cramps.

Together, the studies included 3,475 women. The studies were done in China, except for one Taiwanese study, one Japanese study, and one Dutch study.

The studies used at least 21 herbs in various formulations. No particular treatment stood out.

Each patient got one of these treatments for their menstrual cramps:

* Chinese herbal medicines
* Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen
* Birth control pills
* Acupuncture
* Heat treatment from a hot water bottle
* Placebo

Based on the women's feedback, the Chinese herbal medicines were more effective than the NSAIDs, birth control pills, acupuncture, or heat treatment in easing menstrual cramps.

There wasn't enough evidence to declare Chinese herbal medicines superior to the placebo.

No significant side effects were reported. But only eight of the 39 studies tracked side effects.

The quality of the studies wasn't great. Top-notch research is needed on the topic, note the reviewers.

They included Xiaoshu Zhu, BMed, MMed, of the Center for Complementary Medicine Research at Australia's University of Western Sydney.

(How do you get rid of menstrual cramps? Share your tips on WebMD's Women’s Health: Friends Talking message board.)

Worldwide Abortion Rates Down

Unsafe Abortions Are Most Common in Developing Countries
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Oct. 12, 2007 -- Four million fewer abortions were performed worldwide in 2003 than in 1995, according to a new study published in The Lancet.

The study includes international abortion statistics from 1995 and 2003, the most recent year for which abortion statistics are available in many countries.

Findings include:

* There were 42 million abortions in 2003, down from 46 million in 1995.
* The 2003 global abortion rate was 29 per 1,000 women aged 15-44, down from 35 per 1,000 in 1995.
* The 2003 abortion rate in the U.S. and Canada was 21 per 1,000 women.
* Western Europe had the lowest abortion rate.
* Eastern Europe had the highest abortion rate.
* Nearly half (48%) of all abortions in 2003 were unsafe, and most unsafe abortions (97%) were in developing countries.

The team of researchers who worked on the study included two experts from the World Health Organization (WHO) in Geneva, Switzerland, and three from the Guttmacher Institute in New York, which focuses on sexual and reproductive health.

They used the WHO's definition of unsafe abortions, which include "any procedure to terminate an unintended pregnancy done either by people lacking the necessary skills or in an environment that does not conform to minimal medical standards, or both."

Unsafe abortions included abortions in countries with "restrictive abortion laws, as well as abortions that do not meet legal requirements in countries with less restrictive laws," write the Guttmacher Institute's Gilda Sedgh, ScD, and colleagues.

Based on the findings, Sedgh's team writes that "unsafe and safe abortions correspond in large part with illegal and legal abortions, respectively."

Group Says Lipsticks Contain Lead

Sixty Percent of Brands Tested Have Lead
By Todd Zwillich
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Oct. 12, 2007 -- Several popular brands of lipstick contain lead, a coalition of health and environmental groups say.

The group reports that it found lead in 20 of 33 lipstick brands it tested. They include popular brands like L'Oreal, Dior, and Cover Girl.

"The cosmetics industry has a lead problem," says Stacy Malkan, a spokeswoman for the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics. The group consists of a handful of environmental groups and other groups including the Breast Cancer Fund.

The brands with the highest lead levels included:

* L'Oreal Colour Riche "True Red," containing 0.65 parts per million (ppm) of lead
* L'Oreal Colour Riche "Classic Wine," containing 0.58 ppm
* Cover Girl Incredifull Lipcolor "Maximum Red," containing 0.56 ppm
* Dior Addict "Positive Red," containing 0.21 ppm

Malkan says 39% of the red lipsticks in the sample contained no lead. "It's obviously possible to make red lipstick without lead. The companies should be doing that," she tells WebMD.

In a statement, John Bailey, executive vice president of the Cosmetic, Toiletry, and Fragrance Association, calls the levels of lead found in cosmetics "negligible" and said the element is not intentionally added to products.

The average amount of lead a woman would be exposed to when using cosmetics is 1,000 times less than the amount she would get from eating, breathing, and drinking water that meets Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) drinking water standards," the statement says.
'No Rationale' for Lead

"It's not a helluva lot of lead, like what's been reported in lead paint on toys imported from China," says John Rosen, MD, a pediatrician and lead exposure expert from Children's Hospital at Montefiore in New York.

"But from a public health perspective, there's no rationale for a consumer product to have any lead at all," he tells WebMD.

Cosmetics have been known for years to contain small amounts of lead. Some brands advertise lead-free ingredients, while others continue to contain the metal.

5 Lifesaving Tests for Women

WebMD ranks the top five lifesaving health tests every woman needs.

WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD

From Rosie the Riveter to celebrated TV moms like Carol Brady and June Cleaver to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, women certainly have a lot on their plates, and unfortunately their health often takes a back seat to their families and careers.

"The irony is that most women take better care of their cars than their body, and that is in large part because an annual inspection is required to continue driving your car," says Donnica Moore, MD, a women's health expert based in Far Hills, N.J.

"Just like we have stickers on our cars to get your inspection renewed, use this week or your birthday (as I do), to get your checkups," Moore says. There is no reason not to. "We know that the earlier we identify any potential health problems, the better our outcome will be," she says. And "if you are totally well, it gives you great reassurance about a whole list of things you don't need to worry about."

To make the task even easier, WebMD compiled a list of the top five lifesaving medical tests every woman needs and why.
No. 1 Heart Smarts

Heart disease is the leading cause of death for American women, and heart disease claims about 250,000 women's lives a year. That's nearly six times greater than the number of women that die from breast cancer, according to the American Heart Association. But it doesn't have to be this way, says Marianne J. Legato, MD, a professor of clinical medicine at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City and the founder of the Foundation for Gender Specific Medicine. "Without a doubt, 80% of coronary disease can be prevented with proper lifestyle modifications including healthy diet and increased physical activity," says Legato, author of several books including Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget.

The best way to know where you stand is to get a blood test for total cholesterol levels, HDL "good" cholesterol, LDL "bad" cholesterol, and blood fats known as triglycerides.

"If there is any question of extra heartbeats, chest pain, or shortness of breath, women should have a stress echocardiogram," she recommends. A stress echocardiogram is usually done to determine whether you have a significantly reduced flow of blood to your heart.

Also, your doctor should test your blood pressure, as high blood pressure is a major risk factor for heart disease, she says.

Diabetes is another risk factor for heart disease. If you have a family history of diabetes or are overweight, you are at particularly high risk of developing diabetes and you should talk to your doctor about a blood sugar test.
No. 2 The Power of the Pap Test

Starting three years after becoming sexually active or by age 21, whichever comes first, women need an annual Pap test to detect any abnormal cell changes that could lead to cervical cancer. During a Pap test, a small sample of cells from the surface of the cervix is taken and examined for abnormalities that may indicate cancer or changes that could lead to cancer.

The American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends that the Pap test be done annually until age 30. After 30, if a healthy woman has had three completely normal Pap tests in a row, she can have a Pap test every two to three years (but should still see a gynecologist every year for an exam). Cervical cancer was once the leading cause of death for women in the U.S., but the widespread use of the Pap test has significantly decreased deaths from this cancer.

But there's more. A human papillomavirus (HPV) test may be done as follow-up to an abnormal Pap test, says Phyllis Greenberger, MSW, president and CEO of the Society for Women's Health Research based in Washington, D.C. HPV is a common sexually transmitted infection that is the main cause of cervical cancer. An HPV test can help determine whether one or more high-risk types of HPV caused the abnormal Pap test result.

"If you are younger than 30, it's recommended you have the HPV test if your Pap smear test detects abnormal cells or is unclear, and if you are 30 or older, experts recommend you have the HPV test at the same time as your Pap test," she says.

There is also an HPV vaccine, Gardasil, to help prevent cervical cancer. The CDC recommends the vaccine for 11- and 12-year-old girls, but it can be given as young as age 9. The HPV vaccine is also recommended for girls and women aged 13 to 26 who have not been previously vaccinated or did not receive the complete vaccine series. Recent research suggests that Gardasil offers protection against viruses that cause 90% of cervical cancers.
No. 3 The Benefit of Mammograms

Women aged 40 and older should get a mammogram (breast X-ray) every one or two years, Greenberger says. "If there is a history of breast cancer in her family, a woman should get her first mammogram 10 years before her relative was diagnosed," she tells WebMD. Women older than 50 should have annual mammograms. Unfortunately, studies have suggested that women may not be getting their annual mammograms. "Some women just don't want to know, but with breast cancer being treatable in many cases and even curable, every woman should be getting this," she says.

Moore agrees: "If we catch a breast cancer in stage I, 97% of women who have it will be cured," she says. "As inconvenient as it is to schedule a mammogram, if it comes back clean, we know we are in the free and clear for a year, and that's reassuring."

In addition, women in their 20s and 30s should have a breast exam by a doctor every three years to feel for suspicious lumps and bumps. After age 40, a doctor’s breast exam should be done every year. Although there are no definitive studies showing the benefit of breast self-exams, the American Cancer Society says breast self-exams are an option for women starting in their 20s. Talk to your doctor to determine if breast self-exams are a good idea for you, and have your doctor teach you how to do them correctly.

No. 4 The Katie Couric Test

Thanks to Katie Couric, more and more women are realizing that colon cancer is not just a man's disease. When Couric underwent a colonoscopy live on national television in March 2000, colonoscopies nationwide jumped more than 20% in the following days and months. She became a spokeswoman for this cause after the death of her husband, Jay Monahan, from colon cancer at age 42.

The American Cancer Society (ACS) estimates that nearly 75,000 women will be diagnosed with colon or rectal cancer in 2007.

A colonoscopy allows a doctor to see and closely inspect the inside of the rectum and entire colon for signs of cancer, polyps, or small growths that can eventually become cancerous. The patient is first given a medication in a vein that causes sleepiness and relaxation. A colonoscope is gently eased inside the colon; it has a tiny video camera, which sends pictures to a TV monitor. Small puffs of air are introduced into the colon to keep it open and allow the doctor to see clearly. Preparation-wise, you follow a special diet the day before the exam and take a very strong laxative the day before the procedure. You may also need an enema to cleanse the colon. Excluding skin cancers, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer diagnosed in men and in women in the U.S.

"Colon cancer is totally preventable and treatable if they find it early," Greenberg says. "Every man and woman should have a colonoscopy despite the fact that it is an unpleasant experience."

Beginning at age 50, men and women who are at average risk for developing colorectal cancer should have a colonoscopy every 10 years, according to the ACS. If you’ve had a family member with colorectal cancer, you should have a colonoscopy 10 years before your relative was diagnosed.
No. 5 Skin Sense and Sensibility

"Every woman at the age of 18 should start having an annual skin exam by their dermatologist," recommends Ellen S. Marmur, MD, chief of the division of dermatology and cosmetic surgery at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City. "This entails a head-to-toe skin exam looking for unusual brown or red spots" she says. But "every month you should do a skin self-exam using a hand mirror or hair blower to part your hair and look at your scalp. Don't forget to check for unusual or new moles on your fingernails, the bottom of your feet and toes, and your underarms. The earlier you start doing this, the better you will know your skin, and if you find something suspicious, your brain will set off an alarm and that will bring you in to see your doctor earlier."

Melanoma accounts for about 4% of skin cancer cases, but it causes most skin cancer deaths. The number of new cases of melanoma in the U.S. is on the rise. In fact, the ACS estimates that in 2007 there will be nearly 60,000 new cases of melanoma in this country. More than 8,000 people will die of this disease. Early detection and treatment can save lives.

Counting Her Blessings - 3

goodhousekeeping

continued...

When I ask Vieira what she'd do if the time ever came when she wasn't a television journalist, she answers without hesitation, "I'd be a pediatric clown in the children's ward of a hospital." She did a segment about the profession on Today this year. "First, I observed the clowns in a hospital, and I thought, These kids are so sick, how do they do this? And one of the clowns said, ‘When you put on the makeup, you're the clown doctor.'" For the segment, Meredith, in clown makeup and costume, became Dr. Ditsie (a childhood nickname). "I forgot I was talking to sick children, and I had the best time. It felt so good. I made a difference and I got something out of it."

What Vieira brings to the table — the one in her gracious suburban home near the Hudson River that's shared by kids and husband, dog Jasper, and two cats, Felipe and Sweet Pea — are qualities that were well and wisely loved into being around her parents' table in East Providence, RI. Her mother, a homemaker, and her father, a doctor, were both first-generation Portuguese Americans. Vieira's three brothers — 10 years, 5 years, and 14 months older than she — probably helped determine her description of herself as "more of a tomboy than the princessy girl."

The hardest thing about the upcoming holidays, she says, is not having her parents at the table to share them. Her dad died in 1987, at 82, and her mom in 2004, at 90. Vieira lights up talking about them. "I was raised Catholic, but my mom was a real feminist who didn't like the male-dominated hierarchy of the church," Vieira says proudly. "She was tough about it. She went to church and was a believer, but she didn't like the trappings."

Dinnertime conversation at the Vieira home was long and lively, about politics and her physician father's work. "My favorite thing was when my father was asked to testify in court on a murder case. ‘If you came across a body like that, what would you think was the cause of death?' he'd ask me."

Although Vieira acknowledges that the holidays are stressful ("I'm always trying to outdo myself"), you feel her sincerity when she talks about how she considers Thanksgiving special. "There's a purity to it," she says. "It's only about gathering." That word, "gathering," comes up again when she talks about the Quaker girls' school she attended from the age of 2. (She's still friends with the same gang, and they get together once a year.) "Philosophically, I loved that idea of gathering together in silence, and then standing up and expressing your thoughts."

Vieira and her family spend the holiday with Richard's side of the family one year, hers the next. "We don't say any special grace; we talk about what we're thankful for," she says. Richard is Jewish, "though he doesn't follow any religion per se." He and the kids light the menorah at Hanukkah, and say the Hebrew candle-lighting blessings together. "I believe in God," says Meredith, "but I have spirituality, not a religion."

This year, Thanksgiving dinner is due to be at her house, the menu pretty much what it was when she was a girl. "My mom was a great cook. She believed in different china for every occasion. She'd be up really early preparing, with Daddy helping out, then we kids would get up around 8 and help. My dad's family would come, there was always touch football, and we'd watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade." (Vieira is expecting to host that very parade, for the second time, with Matt Lauer and Al Roker. "It's not mandatory," she says, "but I had such a great time last year!")

Turkey was the headliner at a Vieira Thanksgiving, of course. "My mom made a great stuffing and her gravy was the best. There were mashed potatoes and squash and cranberry sauce, the jellied and the other kind. We had yams, sometimes string beans, sometimes fresh peas. She made Portuguese sweet bread, which takes lots of time and which I never get exactly right, and she made a kale soup I don't even attempt. Rolls. Pumpkin and apple pie." One of Vieira's biggest regrets, she says, is that her mom's apple pie recipe got wet. "Now I can't read it — and she never measured anything. Gabe is the cook in our house. He always makes pumpkin pie."

The worst Thanksgiving? "We went to Richard's sister's house in Boston, and Gabe, who was 7, split open his knee playing soccer. I was so freaked out. I started taking pictures, just to take his mind off it. He ended up writing a story about it called ‘16 Stitches' and showing the pictures in class. That was one of the first times I thought, Something bad could happen. I'd never had a situation like that with one of the kids."

Appearing at Vieira's celebration this Thanksgiving, as they have for years, will be wooden figures, Pilgrims and Native Americans, that were a gift from her mother. "She gave them to me after we moved into our first home. Every year now, I put them on the table." Over time, she's added other decorations. "I can't help myself. My husband says, ‘Oh, please — not another turkey!'" She spreads these ornaments around the house for the holiday. "And our guests — family and dear friends — usually spend the night, so I'll decorate the table for breakfast the next morning."

I'm picturing the Vieira-Cohen circle, gathering, along with its four-legged members — Jasper, "who would carry the two cats around in his mouth when they were small," and those cats, trying to fill the pawsteps of the beloved Spike, who died in December about 10 years ago. "I really lost it over Spike. She meant a lot to our family."

The cat died in Ben's arms. "I took Spike from him, and Richard found me on the couch the next morning. He said, ‘The kids understood and went to bed, and you're still sitting here holding a dead cat.' We wrapped Spike in a beautiful scarf, and we had workmen dig a grave," Vieira recalls. "Nobody explained to them who the grave was for. They thought it was for Richard and made it way too big. We put ‘Circle of Life' on, and danced around it, and everybody wrote something for Spike and put it in. I spent hours filling in that grave."

The Spike story is vintage Vieira: funny and moving, with a journalist's eye for detail and a mother's eye for italicizing a pivotal life lesson that the kids will remember. I'm trying to decide if I'd rather be her best friend or her child when I hear her use the words "roots and wings." I think she's back to her Thanksgiving menu, but no, the phrase turns out to be what parents are meant to give their children. "I can't take credit for it," she says. "We heard it when our kids started nursery school. It's bittersweet." And delicious, and healthy. Just the sort of recipe that works best for Meredith Vieira.

Counting Her Blessings - 2

goodhousekeeping

continued...

She swore at him, then criticized a news segment he produced. "I thought she was exceedingly attractive and had a big mouth, both highly acceptable qualities," Cohen recalls. The attraction was mutual. After a four-year courtship and some tough talk about the unknowns and what-ifs of MS — Cohen had been diagnosed with the disease at 25, before he met Vieira — they leaped. And they've been married for 21 years.

"He wasn't going to write a memoir," Vieira says about her husband's book. "He was going to write something more generic about the disease, but his editor convinced him to open up. It turned out to be a blessing — for him and for other people with MS. It validated their feelings, gave them a chance to open up."

Blindsided — brutal, vulnerable, optimistic — was a blessing for their family as well. "For a long time, Richard didn't want to talk about his illness," Vieira says. Denial can be both good and bad, she reflects. "Part of the denial was because of his work." He was afraid he wouldn't be hired if people knew. The disease has progressively robbed Cohen of his sight — he is now legally blind — turned his limbs numb, and compromised his balance, all of which interfered with his mobility. "When we moved to the suburbs, people would think he was drunk," Vieira says. "I always felt a certain amount of discomfort in not being open."

Things began to change when Ben was around 8. "He asked, ‘Am I going to be like Dad? What's wrong with Daddy?'" Vieira started telling her son about the illness. "The next day I said to Richard, ‘I think we should talk about it.'" That felt right to him, too, and the doors began to open, first to family and, slowly, to the public.

Vieira says the memoir has made their marriage stronger. "Whenever you have closed doors, you're on eggshells. You never know what you can say, what you can't say." When Vieira accompanies Cohen to his speaking engagements, people often tell her she seems so chipper. "I'm not always chipper," she insists. "I'm angry sometimes, and I think it's important to say that. It's hard sometimes. Harder mostly for Richard, but there are days when I'm angry for the family or for myself, when I think, Why do I have to do this? It's much better to get that out. And if Richard is extremely frustrated, it's better for him to get it out. Illness is a family affair."

Right now, Vieira's biggest family challenge is adjusting to Ben's departure for college. "He was already spending a lot of his time with his friends, and I feel we did a good job," she says, bravely mustering her reasonable, dry-eyed self. Trying to muster it, at least. "You're always preparing and preparing for them to leave," she says philosophically. Still trying. "We're really ready to let him go." Meltdown ahead. "Richard is really ready to let him go," she says, and preempts a potentially weepy moment with a laugh.

In general, she says, it's been harder for her than for Richard to give the kids freedom since they've become teenagers. "Especially with driving," she says, "which is the first big step in going away. In a way, having him leave for college was easier than having him learn to drive." Now she's giving lessons to Gabriel, who's just turned 16. "We're still in the parking lot stage," Vieira says. "Maybe we could stay there."

Her relationship with 14-year-old Lily is "really lovely," she says. "She's serious about stuff, on the shy side, and she has a head on her shoulders. She has Richard's gift for writing and she's interested in theater. She has a beautiful voice — we don't know how that happened." Vieira worries about whether her daughter will grow away from her — "because I went through that stage with my mom." The two of them talk openly and candidly. "She knows everything about me. My mom was part of an older generation. When I was at the age when I would get my first period, a Kotex box appeared in the mail with a pamphlet she'd written away for. So Lil and I have always talked. I'm hoping, as she gets older, we stay close."

A fierce nurturing instinct and a healthy competitive drive seem to coexist comfortably in Vieira. Her consistent, rock-steady commitment to family has always, it seems, defined, if not trumped, her impressive accomplishments as a journalist. Illustrating the paradox that strength can be soft and softness strong, this is a woman at once stiff of spine and marshmallow of heart. "I'm a mother first," she says. "I didn't always know that, but when I was put to the test, I figured it out about myself."

In 1989, already a successful television journalist, Vieira was offered a job as a correspondent on 60 Minutes. Having mourned three miscarriages, she took then-4-month-old Ben to lunch with Don Hewitt, the show's creator and executive producer, and left with an agreement that she'd work part-time at home and part-time in the office, sometimes with Ben. That flexibility wouldn't last. When Vieira turned down an assignment that required flying (she was pregnant with Gabe), the chill at 60 Minutes grew frostier, and a line was drawn. In 1991, Vieira left, choosing family over fame until The View tapped her for its on-air ensemble in 1997.

Perhaps because she has lived through public dissections of her own career choices, she's quick to defend Katie Couric, the subject of negative media scrutiny since taking over the CBS Evening News and failing to lift the show out of third place. "I think it's unfair to be put under the microscope the way she has, and I feel bad for her," Vieira says. "Things don't turn around overnight." Vieira says she knows how hard it is to move to a new job and get your feet planted. "There's a learning curve, and an acceptance curve, with everything. They hype and hype, then at the first sign of slippage, people start to write stories."

Counting Her Blessings - 1

goodhousekeeping

WebMD Feature from "Good Housekeeping" Magazine

By Lesley Dormen

Good Housekeeping Magazine Logo

This season, Meredith Vieira is grateful for the right job at the right time, her fabulous kids, her mom's Thanksgiving legacy; and even the tough times that strengthened her marriage.

"Sit here," Meredith Vieira says in that delicious butter-pecan scoop of a voice (serious shot through with sexy, the A student who's still up for mischief). She offers me one of two small, straight-backed chairs in her cluttered dressing room/office, pulls up the other — ignoring the big, comfy leather desk chair — and sits facing me, knee to knee. "This way we're on the same level.

"It's a wet Friday in New York City, and the Today show has just wrapped. We're upstairs from NBC's Studio 1A in Rockefeller Center, where the show has been broadcast live since 1952. I congratulate Vieira on her one-year anniversary as coanchor. "I know," she says with a mock-tired groan. "Well, I didn't keel over and die." Another facet of Vieira's considerable charm is the ability to laugh at herself.

After nine years of winning fans by being loosey-goosey and candid on the ABC morning talk show The View, Vieira did some marathon mulling when she was offered the opportunity to take Katie Couric's place on the Today team with Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, and Al Roker.

"I thought, I'll have to be careful with my personality — The View was anything goes, but this is the news division. I'm basically a night person, and those hours are daunting. Will I be able to pull this off?" With the essential blessing of her family — husband Richard Cohen, 59, a writer, and their three teenagers, Ben, 18, Gabe, 16, and Lily, 14 — and a little self-restraint, Vieira hasn't looked back.

There hasn't been time, for starters. "You sign up here, and time just go-go-goes," says Vieira, who turns 54 next month. As she speaks, one hand now and again drifts upward to run absently through her silky chestnut hair sparked with blond highlights. She's dressed somewhere between on-air attire and going-home clothes; still perfectly made up, she's wearing the kind of generic white cotton V-neck T-shirt we all sleep in, and dark pants.

"This is a phenomenal job, but when I leave here I don't have a glamorous life," she says. "My idea of heaven is puttering. I just want to be home." On her wrist is a gold bracelet that her family gave her the night before she started on Today. The single charm on a simple chain reads We are with you. Love, Richard, Ben, Gabe, and Lily. "I've only taken it off once — and it was a terrible day," Vieira says. "It's never coming off again."

Terrible days have been blessedly rare for her on the show. But glorious or difficult, all of them start at 3 a.m. "It's not so much the getting up, it's having to get up and bring something to the table every day," Vieira says. "The most difficult thing is to stay in the moment and be able to switch gears. One minute you're with Hillary Clinton or covering a mine disaster, the next minute you're baking a pie or talking to Kool & the Gang. It's like a roller coaster. It takes a lot out of you."

And puts a lot back in. "There have been moments that meant a lot to me," she says of her first year. "The Virginia Tech story was moving and humbling." Talking to people involved in April's tragedy, after a student on a shooting rampage killed 32 students and faculty and himself, touched her deeply.

On the lighter side, Vieira fulfilled a girlhood fantasy and became a Rockette at Radio City Music Hall for a day last November. "The people at NBC said to me, ‘If there's something you've always dreamed of doing, you can do it here.' The next thing I knew, there I was onstage, just kicking my legs and having a great time. That was so neat. It was thrilling!

"One of the joys of this job is that you get to explore parts of yourself you'd never get a chance to express, and parts of the world you'd never get a chance to see," she says. Vieira has also traveled (with son Ben) to China, the prelude to her covering the Summer Olympics in Beijing. All this, and she's in her sixth year of hosting the syndicated version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. "It's a little bit mind-boggling," she concedes.

Now that her children are teenagers, Vieira believes, coanchoring Today is the right job at the right time. "I worried about the mornings without them. So I cried about it — that's my MO, I cry about everything — and the kids reminded me that I never made eggs for them anyway, and besides, we fight in the morning." Now she gives each sleeping child a kiss before she leaves, "as much just to check to see if they're in the bed."

Vieira has recently returned from Scotland, where she interviewed J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books. I remark that Rowling seemed more vulnerable with Vieira than I'd seen her in other interviews. Vieira nods. "We really connected on a lot of levels. We have a similar sense of humor, and we're both moms. Her mother died of multiple sclerosis, and Richard has MS, so I brought her a copy of his memoir, Blindsided."

Good Housekeeping Photo Meredith Vieira

By the time Cohen and Vieira met in late 1982, he had already fallen in love with her voice. He happened to hear it earlier that year, he writes, over the audio speakers at CBS News headquarters in Manhattan, where he was a producer. "Whose voice is that?" he asked a colleague. Told she was a new correspondent based in Chicago, Cohen said, "I am going to marry that woman." He calls their initial encounter "contempt at first sight." Walking by Vieira's CBS Chicago office, he saw her lying on a couch watching Looney Tunes on TV. "Very impressive," he said. "A real journalist."

Tips to Avoid Foot Pain From High Heels

Experts discuss foot care techniques to cope with the painful consequences of wearing high heels.
By Colette Bouchez
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Do the most important men in your life -- and the shoe boxes in your closet -- bear the names Manolo, Jimmy C, Enzo, and Stevie M? If so, then there's a good chance high heels are a part of your life.

But unlike Carrie Bradshaw in TV's Sex and the City -- who chased men, taxis, and sometimes a dog in the park while teetering on 4-inch stilettos -- high-heeled life in the real world can be a killer.

"Women do love their high heels, but if you wear them all the time, significant foot pain and other problems can ensue, either as a direct result of the heels or exacerbated by them," says Morris Morin, DPM, director of podiatric medicine at the Hackensack University Medical Center.

Problems range from common concerns like bunions, corns, and calluses to more complex issues like misshapen hammertoes or that excruciating pain in the ball of the foot that seems to grow worse with each passing year.

Still, many women refuse to give up their high heels: A survey conducted by the American Podiatric Medical Association showed some 42% of women admitted they'd wear a shoe they liked even if it gave them discomfort; 73% admitted already having a shoe-related foot issue.

So what's the answer? Doctors say if you must wear them at all, take a few precautions, and catch and treat problems early on. If you do, you'll not only avoid many high-heel problems, but you'll make the time you spend in spikes a happier day for your feet.

(Do you often wear high heels? Share your experiences on WebMD's Women’s Health: Friends Talking message board.)
High Heels and Foot Pain: What You Should Know

Anytime you wear shoes that are tight or constrict the natural shape of your foot, doctors say it's bound to cause foot pain.

But when you add high heels in to the equation, podiatrist Stuart Mogul, DPM, says pain can quickly escalate to damage.

"In addition to restricting the foot, you are also increasing the weight on the area that is restricted, so you're not only crushing your toes, but you're crushing them and then putting weight on them, and that's a problem," says Mogul.

Among the most common problems he sees are painful, aching bunions -- those bony protrusions that usually pop up at the base of the big toe and distort the shape of the foot.

"High heels don't cause bunions, but they sure can aggravate them. Both the heel height and the point of the shoe can play a role," says Mogul.

Moreover, he says some women who have bunions also have a displaced bone on the bottom of the big toe joint, which changes the way the foot "tracks" or acts during motion.

"If the foot is then placed in a high heel, and pitched forward, the pressure on these bones increases and bunion pain grows worse," he says.

While integrating lower heels into your wardrobe can help some, often the best solution is bunion surgery to straighten the bone.

If you're wearing high heels on a daily basis, it's likely you've already experienced two more common problems: corns and calluses. These thickened layers of dead skin usually occur on the toes or sides of the foot and are actually the body's way of defending your feet against assault. Only in this case, says Morin, your shoes are the enemy.

"When you start developing corns and callus, or even ingrown toe nails, pressure from shoes that don't quite fit is often the problem," says Morin.

Other times it can be the result of a "hammertoe" -- a condition that causes the bone of the affected toe to curl under, leaving the top to rub against the shoe. When that shoe is a high heel, says Morin, problems and pain are intensified.

While wearing a lower heel shoe can help some, the solution may require a surgical procedure that helps straighten the hammertoe.
High Heels and Midlife Crisis

It's true that nothing can lift the spirits like a sassy new pair of high heels. But if it seems those heels were a lot more comfortable in your 20s and 30s then they are in your 40s, 50s, and beyond, you're right.

Feet change with age, say experts, and some of those changes can make wearing high heels a lot less comfortable. One of the most common: a loss of fat in the bottom of the foot.

"As you age, you lose some of the fatty deposits that normally protect the ball of the foot -- and some of it also slides forward towards the toes," says Morin.

When we slip our feet into those strappy stiletto sandals and step down, he says our weight is thrown on the spot where we have less protection.

"In extreme cases you actually have the bony ends of the foot grating down into the sole of the shoe with almost no protection at all," he says.

Not only does this cause pain, but it may also increase your risk of stress fractures and osteoarthritis in the feet.

And while some doctors attempt to repad the foot using injections of silicone or wrinkle filling injections like Restalyne, both Morin and Mogul say it's not a good idea.

"These injectables are not meant to withstand the pressure of body weight; they don't last and they tend to move around from the weight," says Morin.

Moreover, the American Orthopedic Foot and Ankle Society warns women against these and other strictly cosmetic procedures for the feet. Calling the trend alarming, they warn consumers that risks -- including infection, nerve injury, and difficulty walking -- frequently outweigh benefits.

A much better idea for bottom-of-the-foot pain, says Morin, is the use of heavily padded insoles. "They act as a buffer between your foot and the ground, and that's all you really need."

And finally, if you've worn primarily high heels for most of your life, you may experience shrinkage of the Achilles tendon, the area that runs from the back of the heel to the calf. This can result in pain when wearing a low-heel shoe or even the inability to walk barefoot.

The antidote here: Stretching exercises like runners do. In rare instances, Mogul says you may need surgery to lengthen the Achilles tendon.
5 Tips to Protect Your Feet When Wearing High Heels

We know you love your high heels, so we won't even hint at the fact that you'd be better off in sneakers. At the same time, what good is that great pair of red patent-leather stilettos if all you can do is sit and admire them?

If you’re going to wear heels, WebMD combined advice from our two experts, along with suggestions from the American Podiatric Association, to protect your feet.

1. Get the best-fitting high heel possible. While this may seem like a given, stop and think: How many pairs of high heels cause your feet to slide to the front, leaving a gap big enough for a small cell phone behind your heel? Mogul says high heels that don't fit properly cause the front of the foot to fly forward, creating more pressure -- and pain -- on toes. Look for narrow heels with a snug but not tight fit to correct the problem.

2. Cushion, cushion, cushion. While a full-shoe insert can help, if you have pain in the ball of the foot -- or you'll be standing in your heels a long time -- invest in silicone metatarsal pads. They look like flattened gummy bears, but they do a super job of shock absorption, says Morin. "It's like replacing the fat padding you lost."

3. Wear a thicker heel for stability. "A thicker heel will give you better balance and may help relieve some pressure by distributing the weight on your foot more evenly, says Morin. Alternating heel heights can also help reduce problems with the Achilles tendon.

4. Pay attention to the "slope" or "pitch" of the heel. While some 4-inch heels will give you a straight drop down to the flatbed portion of the shoe, others will be a more gradual slope. This may be easier on the arch, says Morin, and might help relieve some pain in the ball of the foot.

5. Wear open-toe high heels to relieve pressure on corns and calluses. See a podiatrist to have corns and calluses professionally removed and correct the problem that’s causing them. But if that's not possible, opt for open-toe shoes to take pressure off inflamed areas.